Building Bridges

Have you ever been just so sure you are right and yet no one can see that? Boy, I have a few examples just in the last week alone. And as you can imagine from my first sentence here, those interactions didn’t go well.

Why is it so hard to say to yourself, “what if I am wrong?” Or, “what if I am right, but there is an even better answer and it may not be mine?”

Why is it is so difficult to be open to really understand someone else’s idea when it differs from yours? Don’t get me wrong, I can easily understand someone who thinks like me. But someone who I strongly disagree with? That’s a different issue. After all, I am right and they are wrong. Why should I try to understand them? They are wrong.

I find myself all too often, when trying to resolve a disagreement, sitting on the opposite side of the issue when I know that if I can emotionally "build a bridge" and cross over to the other side, if I really try hard to see the situation as the other person sees it, WE will almost certainly find a far better answer then what either of us had alone.

But hey, why should I do that when it is so clear they are wrong. Perhaps if they come over to my side and look at the issue they will see that I am right and then, maybe, I might glance over at their position, or maybe not because, after all, they are wrong and I am right.

Why is it so hard for me to realize that being dead right is never a great outcome and that two people working together will always be better than two people working against each other? And of course the more emotionally charged the issue the harder it is.

My guess is that the culprit here it’s my old friend fear. What does it mean if I am wrong? How will I be judged by others? Judged by others? No, I couldn’t stand that.

But here’s the thing, I believe with all my heart, that when it comes to all human relationships, working together creatively always enriches the relationship and that working together you will always find a better outcome.

So I will keep trying to build that bridge and when I don’t, it isn’t that I don’t care. It’s just that inner demon that I am wrestling with. And if that happens with you, and it doesn’t look like I can make that move, you can help me with a smile and the understanding that it is almost certainly fear that is getting in the way of doing what I know is right. And maybe, with your help, I will find the strength to make the move.